There is a beautiful book that I often gift to family and friends when they are experiencing a loss of a loved one. It is called the Invisible String and it is a book about connection. I discovered it when my kids were toddlers and were struggling with preschool drop offs. They were struggling with separation anxiety, and The Invisible String helped shape the narrative for the connection I would maintain with my kids even when we were physically apart.
We still had our challenging days, but the narrative still proves that the same connection exists with and without being physically together. As I look around today, I see so much loss all around me. Loss for my clients, loss for my friends. Loss is simply something we can't escape. But what would happen if we accepted loss as an opportunity to morph the relationship. Well this is a silly thought. Yeah, you're probably not ready yet.
But when you are, you will realize that loss is a part of change. And change is our only constant that we have and can hold. Easier said than done, and change sucks. But if you think about it, it holds true.
With grief, it's so important to look at it, see it and acknowledge it. So often we want to minimize our pain and suffering, and it only leads to more complicated feelings. Grief and loss come in many shapes and forms. But naming it is the only option to avoid compassion fatigue for yourself.
I for one so often see anticipatory grief, which comes before death. It is the loss so many of us are faced with before the physical loss of a loved on. So once you physically loose that special someone, you have experienced loosing them twice. It's heartbreaking. It's a lot for the heart, it's a lot for the mind, it's a lot for the soul. And if you are experiencing anticipatory grief, I see you.
I'm sorry for your losses. I know its a very challenging part of life that we all face. But always know, you are connected to your loved one (and even just a past version of them) through an invisible string.
The Invisible String was written by Patrice Karst and illustrated by Joanne Lew-Vriethoff
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