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  • Writer's pictureShaina Williams

The Desire for Control

Updated: Feb 28

My (almost) 7 year old recently said that he is the "controller of his birthday." Think about that phrase controller of his birthday. All he wants for his birthday is to feel in control. It was such an honest and telling desire. From such a young age we not only hold, but desire control.


Upon birth, we control how much we eat (and quickly what we eat) when we sleep, and when we go potty. Basic bodily functions. And then comes the desire for more. Parents have this perception that we are in control but in fact, we never truly are. We are bargaining with our kids, looking for compromise from such a young age. Most of us don’t even realize it.


But my (almost) 7 year old sure does. He is asked to eat his eggs - because we would like him to survive on more than just simple carbohydrates (funny, right) but I frequently find them in the garbage once we lose the stamina to stand over him and wait for him to eat them. He knows it’s inevitable. He waits for the moment I lose my patience to wait - and deems his right to control what he eats. I’m laughing writing this, because honestly I’m impressed.

But in a world that appears to be such a mess right now, I’m clawing for control myself. Control over normal, control and desire for calm. It’s all out of my control right now, and I should probably take a note from my mothering self to surrender to the messy world I clearly can’t control.


I hope in this world - with an insane opportunity for misinformation - that you find what is right and stand tall and strong for it. Good will always win over evil. Light will always draw out darkness. And if you don’t believe me, just wait and see. And surrender, surrender to your lack of control. Contribute what and how you can. And know that what you do, makes a difference.


And for those of you losing with the protein game like me, god speed.

the power of control

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